Articles for therapists

When seeking therapy, some victims of intimate partner abuse or intimate partner terrorism are told that they "chose to be abused" or are "codependent." But most survivors do not knowingly or willingly enter into relationships in which they are exploited, dominated and preyed upon. According to new research by Lovefraud.com, counselors who blame victims, either directly or indirectly, for becoming entangled in abusive relationships may be delivering therapy that does more harm than good. Counselors who understand the characteristics and behaviors of abusive partners, on the other hand, are often able to establish more productive therapeutic relationships. Counseling Intimate Partner …

What counselors need to know when treating survivors of intimate partner abuseRead More

Facilitating Professionally Run Support Groups for Partners in Exploitative Relationships Confusion — everyone who is romantically involved with a sociopath experiences massive amount of confusion. Support groups offer clarity and validation — that's why they're so helpful for recovery. Lovefraud constantly hears from people who are looking for support groups specifically to help with recovery from sociopaths. They are really hard to find. And that's why Mary Ann is offering her webinar — so therapists who want to offer support groups can learn how to do it. Psychologists and social workers can earn two continuing education credits. This webinar would also be helpful for anyone wh …

Mary Ann Glynn on why a support group helps recovery from a sociopathRead More

  Suppose you're a therapist and a new client walks into your office. This person appears confused, full of self-doubt and self-blame. What might you think might be causing your client's problems? Anxiety Low self-esteem An exploitative relationship If you're like most therapists, you probably wouldn't even think of option 3 — an exploitative relationship. But Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT, explains that confusion, self-doubt and self-blame are almost universally experienced by people who are being exploited and manipulated by their intimate partners. You probably weren't taught this in your training. Here's your chance to learn about it. Lovefraud Continuing E …

If your client doubts herself, is it low self-esteem? Or an exploitative relationship?Read More

When someone is involved in an abusive relationship, the most prominent warning sign is likely to be confusion, explains Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT. People who are involved with abusers can't figure out what is going on — and sometimes counselors misinterpret their clients' confusion. In this Live Online webinar, you'll be able to ask questions of Mary Ann and interact with other learners. You'll also be able to take advantage of a new feature of Lovefraud's Continuing Education courses — a private forum for everyone in the course. Ask questions and compare notes with other learners — even after the webinar is over. Love and Exploitation: Part 1: Recognizing the exploitative relation …

Confusion: The top warning sign of an abusive relationshipRead More

Most therapy is about offering insight. The general idea is that if you can look at your behavior differently, understand why you may be doing what you're doing and how it affects other people, you can change. This works with people who are distressed by their own behavior or their situation. It doesn't work with individuals who have character disorders, because they are not distressed. Dr. George Simon teaches therapists a more effective approach to working with disordered individuals. He'll be presenting this approach in a Lovefraud Continuing Education webinar. Character Disturbances and Disorders Part 1: Key differences between neurosis and character disturbance in nature and …

Why traditional therapy doesn’t work with disordered peopleRead More

Lovefraud Continuing Education Webinar: Character Disturbances and Disorders If you're a therapist, you may find yourself increasingly dealing with individuals with significant personality and character disturbances and disorders. You may have found your traditional insight-oriented therapy approaches to be ineffective in such cases. While some therapists simply dismiss personality-related problems as unmodifiable or untreatable, Dr. George Simon shares a unique perspective that provides new understanding of the nature of character disturbance and a framework for effecting change in challenging clients. You probably learned that in classical psychology, emotional and …

Dr. George Simon presents an alternative approach to treating character disordersRead More

By Amber Ault, Ph.D. Like women in heterosexual relationships, women who date other women face the risk of entanglements with toxic partners. This is sometimes surprising both to straight and LGBTQ people who may assume that relationships between two women partners are somehow “naturally” peaceful and nurturing. Indeed, sometimes women in disappointing relationships with men contemplate dating women instead because they assume same-sex relationships would be devoid of the exploitation that can happen in cross-sex relationships. What are the assumptions that make women who date women vulnerable to toxic relationships? Here are a few: Erroneous Belief #1. All narcissists and psy …

Beliefs that make lesbians vulnerable to exploitative partnersRead More

By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW Partners in abusive relationships with psychopaths, narcissists, and other disordered individuals often suffer in silence. This is especially true in marginalized communities. Partners' silence reinforces their isolation and reduces their capacity to end abuse and exploitation in these relationships. What stops a partner from seeking help? Among the barriers to reaching out for a reality check and support for leaving are these common factors: Shame. Partners worry that their association with a toxic person reflects poorly on them, and that others will judge them if they know about the abuse they are tolerating. If they've left and returned, the shame …

Leaving abusive relationships is especially hard for people in minority communitiesRead More

Due to shame, fear and hopelessness, anyone caught in an abusive relationship finds it difficult to leave. But for lesbians, who already feel stigmatized, the barriers to seeking help are even greater. "Therapists may hold stereotypes that intimate partner violence doesn't occur in same-sex relationships between women, or that in the absence of physical violence, same-sex relationships do not include cycles of abuse," says Dr. Amber Ault, a clinical sociologist and psychotherapist based in Madison, Wisconsin. "Women in same-sex relationships often hold the same beliefs." Plus, lesbians often worry about protecting the reputation of their community calling attention to dysfunction or …

Leaving abusive relationships is especially hard for lesbians – what therapists need to knowRead More